Burnell, Devin and Lazaro. Image source: AmericanIdol.com (FOX)

Groove on, fellow Idol addicts! We’ve moseyed into Idol’s Motown theme night territory. Best thing about this for me is Smokey Robinson as coach. I HEART Smokey. Saw him live a couple of years ago and sang and danced the entire concert. He is super talented, great at coaching younger artists, seems like a genuine and cool guy and is quite the debonair gentleman. Yeppers, I’d say “yes” if he got down on one knee.

Smokey. Image source: AmericanIdol.com (FOX)

Whoa…a touch of TMI…see what Idol does to me?

Okay, back to sending my positive vibes out into the universe for Devin.  It looks like we are getting the “treat” of some small group numbers tossed in among the solos.  Yippee yip.

Mariah has a wand and Ryan isn’t sure what she’s planning to do with it. Be afraid, Nicki.

Performance Snippets

Candice Glover (“I Heard It Through the Grapevine”) – Okay, Candice. The legend that is Mr. Smokey Robinson tells you that you made him cry when you performed “I (Who Have Nothing)” and all you can say is, ”wow”? Her smoky (heh), jazz version of tonight’s number is a fine performance, but she does a bit too much to the song for me. I’ll give her an I’d listen again for the effort, but know I won’t.

Janelle Arthur and Kree Harrison (“Like a Prayer”) –What? I thought we were doing Motown since Smokey is here.  Since when was Madonna on Motown? *reviewing recording* Ah, yes. This goes back to Ryan’s “fine print” statement from the top of the show that “any artist from Detroit is fair game.” Queue the Material Girl. This duet is like happy sing-a-long country wedding music and Idol pops out the phantom choir with the smoke machine ablaze. They’ve violated the song for me.

Sidebar: “Motown: The Musical” is coming to Broadway.

Lazaro Arbos (“For Once In My Life”) – Why is he still here? And he’s not even endearing like Sanjaya Malakar who stayed a touch too long back in Season Six. Plus, I see this song title and immediately flashback to Justin Guarini during Season One. He had the star flame and appeal that Lazaro lacks big time. The judges, per the usual, give him kudos on just getting through the song versus mentioning how lacking the actual performance was. Lazaro’s fake charm is now failing to hide his inner ego as he sasses Randy during his critique (without a stutter within ear shot). Here’s your door prize.

Sidebar: I’m going to have to spar with Nicki for claiming Smokey as “her husband.”

Janelle Arthur (“You Keep Me Hanging On”) – Mawk. If Lazaro is my least favorite guy, Janelle is my least favorite girl. She delivers a slow version of the song while playing guitar. I like the arrangement just not her singing it. Meh.

Devin Velez (“The Tracks of My Tears”) – Ah. The comfort of his voice is like a warm blanket draped over me as I sip cocoa and nosh on s ’mores. Love him. To put his unique spin on the song, he—as Jimmy pointed out in rehearsal and Smokey said was cool—is singing slightly behind the beat. It fits with Devin’s laid back style. And did you hear that falsetto? Mmmm. I still have concerns that without loud, held notes at the end this isn’t going to be memorable enough for the voters. I’d listen again.

Candice Glover, Amber Holcomb and Angie Miller(“I’m Gonna Make You Love Me”) – Angie has snagged Amber’s hot shorts from last week. She looks plain and underdressed compared to the sparkles on the other two. This performance leaves me cold. They are harmonizing, but there is no joined happy energy between the three if that makes sense. It also highlighted the fake, “put on” vibe of Angie’s mannerisms. Tonight she’s tossing us “attitude.”

Burnell Taylor (“My Cherie Amour”) – He has moved back down for me. Is he capable of moving away from the mic stand to sing? If I strap his flitting fingers down to his thighs, will he explode? This performance misses any possible vibe of sultry love. Here’s your door prize.

Angie Miller (“Shop Around”) – Angie thinks it is “cool” to meet the man who wrote the song she’s going to sing on Idol. Oh boy. This is not a good song fit for her. She stalks back and forth on the stage in her interpretation of a rocker girl. Then she flubs two lines and covers by giving us some gibberish syllables. Funny the judges don’t pounce on their favorite for the obvious miss. Here’s your door prize.

Amber Holcomb (“Lately”) – Smokey’s advice for her on handling the emotion of the song is great—“Feel it every time and you’ve got to make people know that you feel it.” This is one of my favorite Stevie Wonder songs and she handles it well. Great breath and vocal control. Relaxing as she handles the runs and effortless move to the high notes. Bravo. I’d listen again.

Lazaro Arbos, Burnell Taylor and Devin Velez (“I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)”) – Train wreck alert! This. Was. Bad. There are obvious points where the camera pans to Lazaro and he has a wide-eyed, “which way do I go” look and is not singing. Devin is singing the majority of the lines covering where Lazaro doesn’t come in, with Burnell tossing in some harmony parts, but that does nothing to save the mess on the stage. Note: I tortured myself to go back and watch this three times to catch-all the places Devin covered.

Nicki goes all Mommy Dearest and attacks, ending by telling them to leave the stage. Whoa. Ryan inquires what happened and Burnell and Devin state they learned their parts, yet don’t specifically call Lazaro out as the weakest link. I get it. This is a lose-lose situation. Lazaro has a fan base and a direct stab—though deserved—will be perceived by the fans and some others as lacking etiquette. I’m even more scared for Devin now for the little he did say and that he’s been associated with this drudge. Lazaro goes for sympathy votes as he tells Ryan that he didn’t know the words. You think?

Kree Harrison (“Don’t Play That Song (You Lied)”) – Smokey shares with Kree that Aretha Frankin is his “longest friend that is still alive.” I think I might have to go some rounds with Kree in my quest for a side by Mr. Robinson. She is all wide-eyed and giddy as she works with him. Then Smokey says he’s going to call Aretha and tell her to watch the show. That’s sweet (humph). Kree makes her magnificent technique appear effortless. I’d listen again.

My top three would be Kree, Amber and Devin. Bottom three would be Lazaro, Angie and Burnell with Lazaro leaving.

The Results

• Colton Dixon is performing tonight. Strike one.
• Katherine McPhee is performing tonight with One Republic. Never was a fan of hers—technique is there yet the emotional connection is not. Strike two.
• Angie is even fake while mentoring the kids during their Ford product placement shot. She’s also sporting Daisy Dukes. I’m sneaking into the Idol house to burn these.
• Ryan plays a recording from Aretha Franklin for Kree, praising her for the performance.
• All the ladies are called “safe” with last night’s trio from the dark side, Lazaro, Burnell and my Devin, in the bottom three.
• Ryan sends Burnell to the sofa as safe. Oh no.
• Devin is the bottom vote receiver. He sings for his life and and slams it home. The crowd chants for the save and even Ryan says the performance was there, but the judges are not unanimous. Ryan is like “really, wow.” Strike three and we are out.

My Devin. Image source: AmericanIdol.com (FOX)

So tell it like it is, did the Motown theme (with a touch of Madonna) have you dancing in the aisles? Who would you have head to the stools of doom?

Lazaro, Amber and Devin. Image source: AmericanIdol.com (FOX)

Oh the possibilities of Lennon-McCartney songbook theme night!  Granted, the kids don’t have full run to pick any tune they want, but since the majority of songs are top-notch in terms of lyrics and melody, those cleared provide a wide opportunity to make winning moments.  How do you blow a Lennon-McCartney song?  Well, as past seasons and Lazaro showed us, it can be done.  Lucky for us, the remainder of our Top 9 provide highlights of their craft.

Performance Snippets:

Kree Harrison (“With a Little Help from My Friends”)- It is no secret Kree’s one of the voices I love this season.  She’s a little hoarse with a cold, but no worries because it gives her a touch more raspy soul to the tone.  My main concern with her starting out on the show was the lack of consistent outside star vibe.  Kree rectifies that via her classy all black ensemble and spiffy heels.  She keeps to her own style in having a blouse and pants versus a suit or dress that makes her look stuffy.  It works and she’s great.  I’d listen again.

Burnell Taylor (“Let It Be”) - I like that he doesn’t overdo the delivery of the song.  He adds touches to show his connection and feeling.  His style allows him to move with a smooth pace and provide unexpected caresses and flairs in parts.  Burnell is growing on me.  I’d listen again.

He states he didn’t know the song prior to this week.  He wins points from me when he admits that he knows of The Beatles “but not as well as I should.”  That’s an honest kid versus someone pretending to know it all.

Drinking game check in – By Burnell, we are three shots in with Ryan screaming out it is American Idol time and two judges praising both Kree and Burnell for bringing their own style/flavor to songs.  I think we might be at four with Mariah wanting Burnell to keep doing him, but I see some people staggering so we better pace ourselves. 

Amber Holcomb (“She’s Leaving Home”) - I’m coming into tonight wanting to hear some evidence of why they keep pimping her.  Like put up and connect or I start heckling. She connects.  No smiling in the midst of serious lyrics.  Control in her voice to build the song.  What might hurt her a bit is that it isn’t as well known a song choice.  From their comments, maybe the judges have been given a “Debbie downer” script to read for Amber’s offering, but I find it to be her best performance to date.  She makes me look up to pay attention.  I’d listen again.

Lazaro Arbos (“In My Life”) -  At times, he is so quiet and smearing his words into each other that I think he might be about to doze off.  Excuses about changing his song at the last minute, paired with tears, ramble out of his mouth after getting bad reviews from the judges.  His meltdown does nothing for me.

Okay, have I grown cynical after so many seasons?  I don’t think so.  Idol game theory tells me that whining about last minute song changes, in-ear sound that doesn’t work or having a cold is a potential voter alienating move.  Now if you are singing through a true life-changing event—like family bereavement—we aren’t heartless and will give you kudos for holding it together as professional singers are expected to do while understanding you might be a little vacant.  Excuses for other stuff?  Yeah no.  Buck up and keep it moving. This performance is bad.  Lazaro has been phoning in below par performances for a bit now and his back story isn’t enough to excuse it.  Here’s your door prize.

Wait, what is this?  To help his sympathy case, we come back from break with Ryan at the judges’ table asking them for their take on Lazaro’s showing of emotion.  Really?!

Candice Glover (“Come Together”) - Interesting that Candice and Lazaro switch order this week with her now following him.  Candice rocks this and coaxes me off my Lazaro ledge.  My hope is that she brings a funky edge to the guitar riff driving pulse of the song.  I find myself dancing towards the middle.  The arrangement towards the end of the song isn’t my favorite (the part where the background singers voices are heard above Candice), but she claims the end with a big note run.  She is clearly one of the best of the night and in our finals.  I’d listen again.

Paul Jolley (“Eleanor Rigby”) - I expect him to have a good showing.  He has the vocal chops and I agree with Jimmy that he has the capability to “kill” the song.  He hits a hot note about three-fourths in, but I still find myself a bit detached.  Nikki goes in and tells him point-blank that she didn’t like the song because it is “bland and safe.”  Randy hits him as being detached from the song.  Yeppers.

Earth to Paul.  What happened to your spirit, man? It is like they neutered his happiness. With his lean towards the “theatrical,” he has the capability to deliver a dark haunting take on the song.  Nope.  Stop listening to the judges’ misdirection, Paul.  You are not meant for faceless and emotionless pop drivel.  Meh, however I think it might be door prize bottom three land again for him tomorrow.

Angela Miller (“Yesterday”- I see the stylists have straightened her hair.  This will please some of the complainers in the Twitterverse.  Jimmy’s right that she needs to just sing this natural versus tacking on “look I’m performing” vibes.  Well, she loses me with the loud, held, dead-stop note mid-performance.  It is “look at me” and not connected to any core base, thus pulls me out.  Vocal tone and range is an A+ beautiful, but for me, we are at zero with connection and believability.  Take a drink for Keith saying a version of “you know what I love about…”

Angie is hitting in Carrie Underwood territory for me.  That is Carrie’s time on Idol.  I thought she was a robot and admit to hurling items and mocking her.  No denying her great voice, but the performance quality was at some times stilted and at others unbelievable. After winning and hours of live performances on the road with crowd energy, she’s much improved and well-rounded.  I’m hoping Angie can bridge that gap a bit more while on the show.  I’d listen again for her voice, but I’m meh on the missing emotion.

Devin Velez (“The Long and Winding Road”) - I wonder if he will sing “Imagine” a la little David Archuleta and have a moment.  I say a silent prayer that he digs deep and sings beyond a safe place so the rest of America can hear what I’ve fallen in love with about his voice.  He says during rehearsal that he’s channeling Brian McKnight and those soulful runs are evident.  I hope his arrangement changes do not anger Beatles purists.  Mariah sputters her love for him and says it would be a “travesty” if he doesn’t go through.  Me too, Mimi!  Take a sip for Nicki telling us what she loves about Devin.  I’d listen again.

Keith hits what is going on with the audience not connecting to Devin—it is his laid back vibe.  I’ll argue that Devin has one of the best voices of the season.  Close your eyes and listen.  Superb.  I’ll also admit that I’m still waiting for him to unleash it and go all out.  He’s much better this week, but he needs a “moment” fast.  There are too many standouts with more camera time (e.g., fans) on the season so the position of safety he’s playing from will get him kicked off.  I will be sad, but it is like DeAndre last season—a younger contestant that isn’t fully seated in their glorious capabilities yet and needs more time to round it out.

Janelle Arthur (“I Will”) - I suspect I’ll get to nap for the next 10 minutes of Idol.  At this point I’m just waiting for the phone lines to open so I can vote for Devin.  She is too breathy at the end of some of her phrasing and the words trail out.  If we are comparing country singers, Kree sings circles up and down and around the pavement of Janelle.

Once again the judges sing her praises all the way into the back alley behind the studio.  I hear Keith babbling about what he loves about what she’s done.  Anyone not draped over their keyboard can saddle up for a shot.  It will help you handle the gushy praise the judges are tossing her way.  Double Meh.

Summary – Worst of the night for me is Lazaro.  He is not up to the level of the others.  Paul is in trouble from his lack of connection and limited screen time from earlier rounds.  Devin has the limited camera time and doing “just good” curse, but I hope he can push past that this week.  I don’t want to name him to my bottom three and you can’t make me.  I’ll toss Janelle down there as a placeholder.

The Results:

• Please let Devin be safe.  Yes, I’m starting out putting my intention energy into the world.
• Ryan tells us we could be in for a surprise.  This can mean some kind of fun rule twist is coming or absolutely nothing.  He’s the king of the tease spin.
•  Yes, Jimmy, for pointing out the judges’ inconsistent commentary.  He’s right that they are shouting out circle talk.  Double kudos for calling out Lazaro for having the worst, “bottom of the pile” performance and for lying (yes, lying) with his excuse about only learning the song the previous night.  Jimmy said the footage of them working on the song together was from Saturday.  Why didn’t the judges call that out when Ryan chatted with them after the commercial break on Wednesday?
• Please, Amber, do not wear Daisy Duke shorts on Idol again.  Yes, you are a cute kid with rocking legs, but the ensemble comes off as too casual and also a touch risqué.  Remember the audience viewing and voting.
• Lazaro being safe is a shame.  We can only hope he gets the negative bounce next week.  Seriously, I don’t have time for his shenanigans.
• Amber being in the bottom three is wrong.
• Paul must sing for a save we know he won’t be getting.

Who would have been in your bottom three?  Who do you think will be our top 2 in the finale?

Candice Glover in a moment of glory. Image source: AmericanIdol.com

Our theme this week is “music of the American Idols.”  The requirement is to sing songs winners performed on the show or from their post-Idol albums.  A wide open field of choices yet what we got was ballads from the depths of the underworld.

Wednesday night was ripe with puzzling and bad song choices, contestants phoning in performances and boring (sounding scripted) judges’ comments to keep the train rolling along.  I scanned back at some of my Season 11 rants and saw a similar boring night occurred during Top 7 week.  I’d asked, “Does anyone even care to win this thing?  It was like watching peeps ‘rock out’ in slow motion…Where is the passion, people?”  Ditto for this week.

To help us through future boring nights, I say we start a new drinking game called “Idol Shots.”  The rules are simple.  You get to bottoms up some tequila—pick your brand, I’m going with Patron—each time a judge utters one of the following phrases (or something similar).  You can swig if any of them say it, but I’m giving hints on the phrases each love.

• The competition started right now.  (This if a fave of our longstanding “dawg” Randy Jackson.)
• (Contestant name) is in it to win it. (Randy again.)
• I love how you made that your own. (Yep, Mr. Dawg.)
• My ladybug.  (Wig rocking Nicki Minaj.)
• Keep doing what you do. (The diva voice of sanity Mariah Carey.)
• You know what I love about… (Calming influence Keith Urban.)
• You know I love you, right?  (Uttered by any when they are about to then blast a song choice or performance quality.)
• This is American Idol. (Bonus gimme phrase since Ryan Seacrest says it every show.)

You in?  Cool.  We start playing next week.  Some nights we might get toasted, but hey, if you are safe and secure in your favorite recliner chair, no harm done.  Disclaimer: I must state I am not responsible for anyone’s illness or other negative effects.  Since these are popular phrases, things will get dicey fast.  Watch Idol and play at your own risk.  Heh.

Performance Snippets:

• Squee!  Jimmy Iovine is back to help coach the gang.  Shoot straight and let ‘em have it, Jimmy.
• Nicki is missing from the judges’ table.  MIA.  Ryan, sitting in her seat, chirps about her being stuck in traffic.  Really?  Like we have a scheduled performance show and she’s late to work?  Is this a joke?

Last Friday, I had a presentation for some directors at my day gig.  I started coming down with a wicked head cold the day before and was feeling crapola and sounded like a plugged drain, but I pulled myself together and dragged into the office.  Once the presentation was done, I was headed back home by lunch.  When you have a job, the basics are that you make it there for deadlines.  Idol starting at its scheduled time each week is a deadline.

• Still no Nicki, we are violated by what Curtis Finch, Jr. does with “I Believe.”  By coincidence, boring Top 7 week last year also gave us someone singing this song—Joshua Ledet.  So church singer Curtis bites what church singer Joshua did last year in singing church singer Fantasia’s winning song.  Bwahaha.  It. Was. Horrible.

He’d told Jimmy that he wanted to be the modern-day Luther Vandross.  Not.  Idol history tells us that ill placed church-styled histrionics fail.  Add in the lack of humbleness and here’s your door prize.

• Nicki shows up in time to hear Janelle Arthur.  She watches the performance with a black hoodie up and sunglasses.  Rude.  Janelle told Jimmy that she wants to be more traditional country than the recent stars who have been melding more into pop-country. After singing “Gone” by Montgomery Gentry (Scotty McCreery performed it on Idol), Janelle can saddle up and come get her door prize.  I was screaming “gone” again and again too.
• My Devin Velez (yes, he’s my adopted contestant this year) sings Carrie Underwood’s “Temporary Home.”  Wrong song choice.  I get that he wants to challenge himself, show that he can do something different and not include Spanish every week (great choice).  This comes off as another ballad, albeit an ill-fitting one.  Meh.  Going third and not being well-known, I fear a bottom three appearance for him.  Like Hollie Cavanagh last year, he is a sleeper with a fierce voice, but needs to dig deep for the confidence to unleash it.
• Championed early “It” girl, Angela Miller, sings Celine Dion’s “I Surrender.”  Kelly Clarkson performed a solid version of this during Season One.  Angie tells us “I think I can sing it as well as Kelly did.”  Um, yeah, that didn’t come off sounding as sweet as you may have intended.  “I loved what Kelly did when she sang the song and that inspired me to want to bring my own interpretation to it” has a better feel.  I’m willing to go coach the contestants on the game theory of Idol of pre- and post-performance babble talk.  If she’s not careful, the tide of love will turn to viewer voter hate. Especially when performances start to stall.  Meh.
• Paul Jolley is a little too jolly. He’s gotten the dreaded “theatric” tag for the season, which is hard to shake.  He sings Lonestar’s “Amazed,” originally done on the show by Scotty, and it is like a robber stole his special spark. I can see his brain processing orders to “hold still” and “don’t embellish.”  It is middle of the road meh.  If he doesn’t determine and commit to the artist he wants to be, he’s short for this road.
• Remember the breakout performance Jordin Sparks had when she sang Shirley Bassey’s “I (Who Have Nothing)? Well, BAM, Candice Glover brought the same fire. About halfway through the song, my mouth is hanging open and I’m looking around since she’s raising the roof so far above those who sang before her.  She hits a note towards the end that is so unrestrained and good and long, then slides back to end with quiet passion.

I would not be mad if she drops the mic once done and walks off the stage because it is perfection with no point for a critique. She knows when to rise and fall with the melody and adds in the right amount of emotion that you think the song was written for her.  It is like when Adam Lambert sang “Mad World” or Clay Aiken on “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”  Just tell me where I can download a copy.  I’d listen again.

• At this point, I’m trying to remember who is left to sing.  What Candice just did should have ended the show.
• Oh yes, Lazaro Arbos is here.  He’s going to sing Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway,” which is so personal to her that those covering it look foolish.  He’s off-pitch again, but let’s see how sweet the judges can be to ignore it.

Well that is fascinating.  Keith asks him a question and he struggles with stutters happening on almost every word, but when he then gives some answers to Nicki (a response in Spanish) and Mariah, he flows the sentences with no delay. Tweets are flying again about this difference and some wonder if Keith was staged to ask him a question to remind us of the stutter or if Lazaro turned it up to garner sympathy votes.  I do not want to keep shining a light on his speech impediment because it has nothing to do with his singing performance, but cannot ignore the whiffs of funky conspiracy smoke starting to seep.  Here’s your door prize.

• Our second best performance of the night comes from Kree Harrison echoing Carrie’s take of Roy Orbison’s “Crying.”  It is beautiful and the professional, effortless quality of her vocals rings out.  Nicki, maybe feeling anxious because she lacks such vocal abilities, goes off on a rant about how she likes to kick back and enjoy waffles on her days off then loops in that Kree’s song is like her enjoyment of the waffles.  Nicki, here’s your door prize.  Kree, I’d listen again.
• I sure hope Burnell Taylor sings Ruben Studdard’s “Flying Without Wings” tonight said no one ever. This is not a good song in melody or lyrics. For someone with a unique vocal delivery and who brings natural emotion into performances, this is the equivalent of morphine.  And Burnell starts his wiggly fingers thing before even saying one word.  I don’t want to hand him a door prize so I’m going to give a meh as a strong warning. Zzzzzzz.
• Amber Holcomb rounds out the night with Kelly Clarkson’s crowning song “A Moment Like This.”  I don’t get it. They overload her with praises last round for an okay performance of a Whitney song and now anoint her as a goddess and best of the best for prancing through another song where she doesn’t reach its true heights.  Yes, she can technically hit big notes, but it isn’t with the same power or smoothness of tone.  In fact, she sounds a bit more nasally and a smidge off-pitch.  She also does this weird look the camera smirk thing that throws me off.  I’ll attribute it to nerves.  Meh.
• My bottom three would be Curtis, Janelle and Lazaro for their bumbling messes and Curtis going home.  Others chose boring, safe options.  The stars were Candice and Kree.

The Results:

• Send Curtis or Janelle home.  Hey, I’m putting out my wishes into the universe at the top of the hour.  Remember how I did a blend of the Running Man and Hammertime dances last season when Colton Dixon got the boot?  Send home one of these two and I’m rocking the Harlem Shake with a little ‘70’s robot action added to the mix.
•  Ryan tell us that they will name who makes the top and bottom three.  First into the top three is Candice.  Yeppers.  Then Kree.  Those are my top 2.  I wonder if Angie will round it out.  She does.  Ryan says they won’t share exactly how this group ranked.
• Bon Jovi!  You can’t watch them and not feel happy.  Such a cheerful spirit.
• Singoff time.  The eleventh place runner-up guy and runner-up girl sing to grab a spot on the tour.  We’ll find out next Wednesday who wins.
• You’ll never guess who the guy is–Charlie Askew.  He plays the piano and sings an original song, “Sky Blue Diamond.”  It is eons better than the meltdown night.
• Next up is Aubrey Cleland singing “Out Here on My Own.”  Aubrey turns in a beautiful toned and emotionally connected rendition.  I’m impressed and wishing she could be swapped for Janelle and about half the guys in the finals.  She should have brought that performance and song choice during the Top 20 round.
• Philip Phillips is back to sing his newest single “Gone Gone Gone.”  It is pleasant sounding.
• For some reason, they feel like telling us the voting pecking order.  Lazaro is fourth, Amber fifth, Janelle is sixth, Burnell is seventh and Paul is eighth.
• No, no, no!  Devin is in the bottom two with Curtis.  This was my fear.  Please, please don’t send him home so soon.  Woot!  A bad showing while singing first (plus a dose of karma) gives Curtis the lowest votes and we know the judges won’t use the save this soon.  Time for some shaking and quaking!

Who was the biggest performance disappointment for you this week?  What are you wishing will be a theme week?  What is your take on the Lazaro conspiracy rumors?

Image source: AmericanIdol.com

This we know about the land of American Idol and the road to the finalists:  Some great voices have sunk their own chances with self-indulgent or obscure song choices.

Welcome to the 2013 top 20 semi-finals sing off.  Pull up a beanbag, get comfy and see who has the odds in their favor.

The Ramble of the Girls

You Deserve a Platinum Mic

Angela Miller (“Never Gone”) – Okay she is one of my “ones to watch.”  And I still love the pureness of the tone and power in her voice, BUT she sings a Colton Dixon song.  Readers of last season’s rant posts will know the level of my angst every moment I watched him.  Please, world of Idol, do not bring anything about him back up to me.  From her talent, camera time, winning song choices in earlier rounds and judges’ love, she should be fine making it to the top five girls.  My concern is if all the attention will eventually cause voters to turn on her.  Hate for those crowned too early as winners is a real thing in the Idol universe.

Kree Harrison (“Stronger”) – I want her in the finals.  Her vocal talent is BAM in the face of most of the other contestants and she brings a genuine vibe to everything she does.  I believe I called her voice “stunning” a few weeks ago.  I stand by that.  She’s the “country” voice that needs to move on.

Candice Glover (“Ordinary People”) – Remember how much you loved that song when you first heard it, then how it was overplayed on the airways drove you to drink?  Well Candice makes it fresh again.  She does her add-in a billion runs thing, but this time it works more for me.  I felt like her transitions last week were pushed loud and slid off pitch.  This week she is smooth and pleasant.  I do wonder if she’s starting to drink her own praise, which is a dangerous thing in Idol land.

Passable to Sing Another Day

Breanna Steer (“Flaws & All”) – Ding, ding, ding.  We’ve got our first winner with obscure song choices.  I loved her vibe and the character of her voice last week.  She is a vocalist I’d be happy to hear on an album and the radio.  However, this song choice is both slow and an unfamiliar one for the majority of the audience.  Part of the strategy for song choice goes into selecting something that can serve as a highlight for your voice and can connect to and engage the audience.  Songs people are more familiar with do that.  Plus singing earlier in the show makes this a bit forgettable, which is too bad.

Aubrey Cleland (“Big Girls Don’t Cry”) – Um, since Fergie isn’t one of the strongest singers out there, it is understandable that her songs are crafted in a way to fit her capabilities.  That makes them limited in range and not great choices for someone trying to win Idol.  From last week’s fawning, we get that Aubrey is pretty.  It isn’t enough.  I’m a bit bored.  Her lack of earlier round camera time will hurt as well.

Amber Holcomb (“I Believe In You and Me”) – I don’t believe you should have opted for a Whitney song.  It isn’t awful.  I just don’t agree with the judges listing the result as “exquisite.”  Amber is a technically good singer with a nice tone.  Maybe I’m too underwhelmed by the lacking talent around her to think straight.

Get Off the Stage

Zoanette Johnson (“What’s Love Got to Do with It”) – Idol giveth and Idol taketh away.  Just last week she screamed us out, with Lion King madness, in the show ending, “pimp spot.”  This week she’s dealt the kiss of death show opener.  Is the awful level of her performances now clear?  Let’s hope so and that voters run from the room and not to start dialing on their phones.

Janelle Arthur (“If I Can Dream”) – We were told last week that this is like her third try for Idol stardom.  She is just another bland country female singer for me.  Off pitch, one level and coming off as desperate.  Next.  What?  The judges are fawning again and calling her a sweetheart.  Stop it.

Tenna Torres (“Lost”) – Funny how song titles can sum up performances.  This is a bit of a hot nasal mess for me.  Something about her doesn’t ring authentic.

Adriana Latonio (“Stand Up for Love”) – Bingo again.  Here’s another talented singer with an obscure song.  Young Adriana has turned the corner and lost the emotional connection to the music that was on display a few weeks ago.  Unlike Breanna, she is not able to pull out anything remarkable in her stage presence to make us pay attention.  Good singer with a boring choice.  Her near end of the show spot might be the saving grace to garner some votes.

The Rumble of the Boys

You Deserve a Platinum Mic

Devin Velez (“It’s Impossible”) – He looks like a candy cane in white pants, red sweater, striped shirt and bow tie.  I had to get that out.  I realize that his delving into Spanish mid-song will get old if he does it every week.  Right now, it still feels authentic.  He is my favorite voice so far tonight.  Dare I go ahead and call it that he’ll be the best of the night?  That boy can SANG.

Passable to Sing Another Day

Nick Boddington (“Iris”) – He gives yet another understated performance while playing the piano.  What else can I say?  Beautiful tone and pleasant to listen to, but it doesn’t move me to vote or pay full attention.  The notes rest above the keys and linger there alone.

Burnell Taylor (“I’m Here”) – He takes a risk and repeats his initial audition song.  The issue comes in if he doesn’t hit and move the judges as he did day one.  If he doesn’t do something different with the vocals, arrangement or both, we’ll be left making the comparison.  The judges seem pleased with what he offers.  It is middle of the road okay for me.  Plus his excessive, fluttering fingers hand motions are driving me batty.

Paul Jolley (“I’m Just a Fool”) – Here is another okay male voice, but nothing spectacular.  I’m not saying he isn’t capable of it.  It is that he isn’t pushing himself to break out.  Keith touched upon it as not trusting himself or even losing a bit of authenticity from a blend of artists he’s yearning to emulate.  Paul wants to be “pop country,” but is coming off cheesy cabaret with a desperate “I’ll be whoever you want me to be” vibe.

Curtis Finch, Jr. (“I Believe I Can Fly”) – I’m not an R. Kelly fan.  Not any element of him.  This song is overdone at talent pageants, on reality singing shows and by some church-singing folks.  Curtis can sing, but so can a bunch of other people with church backgrounds.  I’m having trouble taking Curtis seriously or believing an ounce of “God fearing” generous spirit in his performances because of the hateful venom he spewed in the Hollywood rounds.  That mean, self-centered man is in direct contrast to what he is showing us now.

Get Off the Stage

Elijah Liu (“Stay”) – He is too much of nasally mess for me.  Nicki is pointing out how marketable he is again.  Judges, don’t spin him into the second coming of Bieber.

Cortez Shaw (“Locked Out of Heaven”) – I love, love, LOVE this song.  Like Bruno Mars is a sexy, genius songwriter, amazing vocalist to me.  Cortez?  Not so much.  He is tragically flying off pitch and, like Elijah before him, tends to lean to a nasal sound, but Cortez loves to strain for high notes just as much as he likes to do funky body movement.  I agree with Keith that this is not a good song choice to highlight the positive elements of Cortez’ s voice.

Charlie Askew (“Mama”) – Tonight Charlie drills down further into the bad karaoke realm.  This is awkward, no longer in a good way, and just subpar.  So now he’s a rocker?  Keith hits it by calling the performance “disingenuous.”  Yes!  Charlie is in a tie-dyed tank shirt with a ponytail and dangle-circle earring with feathers.  It isn’t him.  His angry stare of death as the judges provide negative critique isn’t going to win him any votes either.

Whoa.  Okay—no more jokes.  We need a psychologist intervention.  When Ryan comes over to ask Charlie what has been the thinking behind his style evolution, he begins to tear up and says that he did the song so he could vent.  He then says that he smiles because he has to, not because he is happy on the inside.  It feels like we are watching a live cry for help.

Ryan gives him a pep talk and states that he is among friends and that it is okay to share the words he just did about what he is feeling.  Charlie then starts crying and leaves stage before we can head into break.  I’m concerned about the end results if he doesn’t make it through as well as if he does.  I give Ryan, who has been a sometimes irritating constant through the years, major gold stars for his instant catch and right choice of words to salvage the situation.

Lazaro Arbos (“Feeling Good”) – I’m not a fan of this arrangement as it makes the song stay in one place and hammer us over the head with the chorus.  His voice isn’t sounding as special as it did from the first audition.  I’m also not hearing any stutter tonight when he briefly speaks to the judges and Ryan.  Previously his speech impediment was obvious on each word so this change is huge.  Twitter is lighting up with others wondering where the stutter went as well.  The conspiracy theorists are getting ready to pounce.

Vincent Powell (“End of the Road”) – This is a case of someone breathing in their own press.  He’s put in the pimp spot to show off what the judges have fawned about.  He doesn’t take advantage and bring it.  He starts skewed high and off pitch.  The rest of the song meanders and never lands in a solid spot.  This is a bad impression to leave with voters.  Pair that with no previous camera time in the earlier rounds and you have another contestant sinking their own battleship.

My take on who makes it to the finals:

Girls

If I was the judge:  Angela, Kree, Candice, Breanna and Adriana.  I toss in the last one because of her past performance tackling an Aretha song.  If there is a wild card, I’d give it to Amber.

Voters will pick:  Angela, Janelle (from the pimping), Candice, Amber and Adriana?  That last one feels like a toss-up.

Guys

If I was the judge:  Devin, Burnell and Paul.  What?  I have to take two more?  Ugh.  Um, hand me Nick and Lazaro.

Voters will pick:  Devin, Burnell, Paul, Lazaro and Curtis.  I’m worried about Devin capturing enough votes.  I hope someone with more “marketable” in the judges fawning, like Cortez or Elijah, don’t edge him out.

I admit some of these are mad stabs in the dark.

SPOILER ALERT

STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHO MAKES THE FINALS

Girls: Janelle, Candice, Angela, Amber and Kree (squee!).  I’m quite “meh” on Janelle making it through.  Amber needs lay off the Whitney covers.  Candice and Kree sing their “victory” songs the best.

Guys:  Paul, Burnell, Curtis, Devin (woot woot!) and Lazaro.  I called it for the voter picks and that included the three I wanted.  I’d rather listen to Nick versus Curtis, but get that Nick didn’t do enough to motivate votes.  Kudos to Burnell and Devin for singing killer “victory” songs tonight.  Devin even has a little swagger in his steps.  Go, Devin.

It is rarely a straight top 10 anymore.  The rules are bent or flat-out changed to allow for judges’ faves to squeak in via wild card choices or sing-for-your-life moments.  So I’m quite shocked that Ryan waved those who didn’t make it off the stage.  We’ll see what next week brings.

Are you happy with the finalists?  Do you think we are in for some standout performances this year?