Barbara McDowell

I started off last week’s review noting that the top 7 (take two) was blah.  Well, the land of meh continued on this week.  Wednesday’s tribute to all things Queen was boring.  They sucked out the verve and spirited life that was Freddie Mercury and sang disconnected ditties.  Then, they moved into personal choice options and the navel staring began. 

The Performances

• Jessica went for “Bohemian Rhapsody.”  Remember all the past rockers who have ripped into the song?  It has proven to be a hard one to arrange for a short snippet.  And Jessica isn’t a rocker.  This performance was put upon and fake.  I’m beginning to feel abused by her voice.  Here’s your door prize.
• Skylar said “The Show Must Go On” and it was obvious she had no clue to the poignancy behind the words she sang.  The song was written by Brian May as a testament to Freddie Mercury continuing to forge on and perform in the face of his declining health.  The judges called her screaming “passion.”  Here’s your door prize.
• “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” was Joshua’s bop at being a rocker.  It wasn’t the return of Sam Cooke to me.  It was a forced voice, awkward moment.  I like his voice, but this overwrought style is what turns some people off and starts to get me irritated.  Meh.
• At least Elise looked a little inspired as she chanted “I Want It All.”  Who thought about commercials the song has been in the whole time?  Bwahahaha.  Meh.
• Phillip wandered out and sang “Fat-Bottomed Girls,” the audience clapped, and the judges piled on praise.  It lacked happiness and oomph.  Here’s your door prize.
• In the game of Idol, sending subliminal messages is fair game.  Hollie did just that, singing and pleading her way through “Save Me.”  I liked that she was taking her time and showing her voice on this.  I think she’s connecting to material better.  Problem is, it wasn’t a well-known song choice that would rally folks to vote.  Meh.
• Glad I’d only had few spoonfuls of spaghetti when Jessica dug out this schmaltz fest.  She dedicated it to her father.  Since I no longer believe anything from Jessica as genuine, I felt that was calculated to pull heartstrings, garner emotion she is unable to provide as she sings, and gain votes.  Call me a jaded Idol watcher, but I’ve seen manipulation play out before on the show.  This came off as messy, self-serving dribble.  Here’s your door prize.
• What is “Tattoos on This Town”?  Why it’s the next song Skylar sang.  Since her intent was to send this one back to her own town, we could have dimmed the lights and just left her to it.  Meh.
• Joshua stopped and sang.  No church-hailed vocal inflections.  No screech to screams. Only him, the song “Ready for Love,” and us.  It was masterful and the only performance on Wednesday that made me care.  I’d listen again and again and again.
• I am a Hendrix fan.  I think he was easily one of our true music geniuses.  Elise was right to go for another throwback rock number because that seems to be where she is comfortable as a singer and where she was able to have a great moment a few weeks back with the Led Zeppelin song.

So what did she choose?  Something from the obscure toy box, “Bold as Love.”  Yeah.  Then she got all self-indulgent artist with it and had her own little hand motion concert carving out (or “stabbing” as Randy put it) the itty bitty pieces of each note.  What the?  You’ve got a great voice, but here’s your door prize for even thinking that was okay to do on Idol.  You motivated no one outside of a diehard fan to vote for that.

• Phillip came back out and sang “The Stone.”  It is a Dave Matthews Band number.  The judges have compared him to Dave Matthews.  So let’s be lazy and go there with our personal choice.  Meh.
• Miley Cyrus songs should be banned on Idol because Miley isn’t a great singer, thus her songs are crafted with limited melody and challenge.  I’m also not a Miley fan.  I liked Hollie on her first song far more than what she did with “The Climb.”  The judges didn’t agree and gave her a standing ovation.  Meh.

The Results

• Some Queen Extravaganza group performs “Somebody to Love.”  I guess this is a group that was handpicked by Queen from some online thingy.  Whatever.  This is so not worthy of taking up five plus minutes of time in front of the massive Idol in-person and viewing audience.  I don’t want to hear a bunch of Freddie Mercury wannabe screechers.  Next.
• Squee!  Stefano is coming back to sing.  Don’t’ you just want to put him in your pocket?  He won me over during Season 10 when, for the Wildcard round, he sang his heart out on Smokie Norful’s gospel hit “I Need You Now.”  He showed how you sing for your life with that one.

Tonight, well, I can’t say anything good about his new single “I’m On a Roll.”  It is a throwaway dance track and he was flanked by a crew of dancers, two DJs, and with the music and background singing supplied via recording.  Stefano is singing the song with staccato phrasing and has zero swag. About two-thirds in, I started singing along and dancing in my seat just to give him support.  Even with a chorus that becomes slightly catchy when repeatedly banged into your head, this isn’t going anywhere near hitsville.  I wish him well.

• Katy Perry was the second musical guest and looked mighty awkward attempting to dance.  Also, her military fatigues and poses had nothing to do with the song and felt a bit put on.
• This week’s bottom three consisted of Elise, Hollie, and Skylar.  Skylar, once again, was the first one sent back to the couch.  I agree with Elise being down there—not based on her singing, but on her performance quality.  She picked material that failed to connect with the viewers and, for the second song, gave us self-indulgent muck.
• I would have swapped out Hollie for Jessica or Phillip because both are riding on a wave of continuous overblown praise that I’m sure boosts some to vote for them.  I liked Hollie’s first song far better than her second, but she’s struggling on pulling herself up from several bad song choices and performance weeks.
• Going home was resident doomsday predictor Elise.  Did she ever have a true shot at winning it all?  Nope.  Should she have gone this week?  No.  Jessica is who we should have lost.

Image source: American Idol

Did Queen week rock you?  What theme week would you love to see?  Are you ready to just crown a winner?